Semicolon hosts "The Saturday Review of Books." Consider participating this week.
Spring-like and feverish
It's a shame that on the first sunny day in what feels like months, I am, as they say, "under the weather." Being confined to my bed, though, had one advantage: I had time to cull through the archives for some of those posts people ask for at this time of year.
The questions I've been asked most recently concern the dual role of parent-teacher and burnout. The following oldies-but-goodies may address your concerns:
■ Burnout, or A balm for this spring of discontent
■ Culled from the archives: Advice for parent-teachers
■ It all begins with me.
And I'll just repost the last bit of advice (Take it. Leave it.) here:
1. While your family's days should most decidedly not be about scoring in the Xth percentile on state-required exams, winning a regional [insert kiddie contest here] prize, or earning a House & Garden medal for cleanest kitchen counters, it's important to remember that growing children with good hearts and active minds tends to be more easily accomplished when
(a) their environment has some rhythms and rituals and routines (rising and resting at regular intervals; anticipating repetitive activities (like feeding the fish, reading from the book of 365 stories for 365 days, making the bed, and taking turns with the pet chores)); and
(b) their leader (teacher) models the attributes he or she wants to see in her students.
Which is another way of saying, find a daily dance, a workable rhythm to set the day's tempo. Something catchy but neither too fast nor too slow.
2. Focus on the moment you're in. Not on the best handwriting book, most compelling history text, or most brilliant math program. Not on message boards or blogging buddies. (In fact, if you can, try an experiment: Limit yourself to no more than, say, one virtual visit daily.) Not on all the stuff you could be doing. No. On the moment you're in. On what you should be doing. Teaching. Learning. Coaching. Leading. Modeling. So, for example: Your children's minds are wandering? They've got holes-in-the-brain, you say? Where is your mind? Are you focused on them? Yeah, I didn't think so. Now that you are, discover why aren't they focused. Physical needs met? Something big coming up? Time for a walk?
You get the idea.
3. Nine hundred ninety-nine times out of one thousand, a bad day, a spring-feverish morning, a calamitous pre-Christmas afternoon begins with you. That's not an accusation. It's an attitude. If you know it all begins with you, you know you have the power to, if not control the situation, then certainly control your response to it (which is control of the most excellent kind).
3. Don't neglect yourself.
Eat right.
Exercise.
Take vitamins.
Sleep well and for as long as your body needs.
Develop some rituals and routines that enable you to present a fresh face and a clean smile to your children and your students each morning.
Read. Think. Learn.
Take some time for yourself when and where you can get it.
Celebrate your achievements in meaningful ways.
Reflect.
Maintain real relationships. Cut back on the virtual.
Visit a museum.
Roll down a grassy hill. Can you still do a cartwheel?
Leave notes in your partner's jacket pocket.
Revisit a favorite hobby or book or movie from your youth.
Dance.
Remember: Before you are a partner, a parent, a teacher, an [insert occupation here], you are simply you. Ensure that you like who you are.
And take care of yourself.
For other posts of this nature, visit the Parenting and Teaching tabs. Note that the "Speaking practically" post (which begins, "One refrain among parent-teachers is that life sometimes (for some, often) gets in the way of schooling") may prove particularly helpful.
Boxing with Death
Because he died the weekend before Thanksgiving, we were pummeled by the first of "the firsts" (i.e., the first Thanksgiving without him, the first Christmas without him, the first trip to the Brookfield Zoo without him, etc.) in quick succession -- One! Two! Three! Left! Right! Another left! -- before we had even risen to our knees from the near-knockout punch delivered by three grim-faced Marines at 5:10 on a gray Monday morning.
Know this: No referee can or will intercede. So raise the gloves; absorb the blows. Fall to the mat; rise again.
We've endured five months of firsts now, and we're still standing. Sometimes we stagger. Sometimes we grip the ropes. But sometimes we deliver our own punches, too. One! Two! Three! Left! Right! Another left! It seems that humor -- dark, silly, ribald, sophisticated, Seuss-inspired, or Shakespearean -- is our best offense. Laughter has certainly prevented us from remaining down for the count.
It's too early to say, I suppose, but our sense of humor may, in fact, cause a majority draw in this boxing match between Death and Family M-mv. Death has certainly beaten us up, make no mistake. But it won't beat us. And if I'm right about humor's role in our ability to stay on our feet during this fight, then it's a damned shame that laughter, sardonic or otherwise, isn't more thoroughly endorsed by those involved in the death-ritual business (e.g., funeral directors). A hundred times, nay, a thousand and a hundred, I have thought, Boy-boy would have thought this was hysterical! And he would have. Because it usually is. After all, so much of what we humans say and do -- especially what we say and do in times of stress -- is funny. Silly. Humorous. Ridiculous. Stupid. Clueless.
Laughable.
Tears are expected, but sometimes laughter feels like the much more appropriate -- and the much more restorative, healing, even -- response. Laughter mixed with tears works, too. And laughter takes the edge off those times when tears are, in fact, unavoidable.
I suppose I began thinking about all of this because I will celebrate my birthday soon. My first since he died. And then it's Mother's Day. The first since he died. And soon after that, summer swim season will begin. The first since....
And perhaps the only way I can make any sense of the days, the months, the years that will follow, that will have the balls to occur even though my son has died, is to remember how he laughed and how he made us laugh.
And to laugh, even if it's through tears.
Unwound
John Williams discussed this story and facilitated some animated discussion from callers both for and against permitting the prisoner to donate his organs. It put me in mind of a sequel to Unwind (Neal Shusterman).
11.78 miles today! Good stuff...
... but I am thinking about a goal revision. One thousand miles is much too ambitious, given the realities of our late spring and summer schedule. My amended goal is simply at least two long (i.e., ten-plus miles) per week.
“Run hence, proclaim, cry it about the streets...”
Happy birthday, Mr. Shakespeare! (Whoever you are.)For a complete Bardolatry experience, read the entries collected here.
____________________________
Today is Talk Like Shakespeare Day! Need something to say? Begin with the Shakespearean Insulter, thou saucy dismal-dreaming popinjay!
Classical 105.9 FM WQXR is also celebrating Will's 447th birthday. At 8 p.m. Central, David Garland will host a Shakespearean edition of "Movies on the Radio." (Look for the the "Listen Now" link in the sidebar.) Featured pieces will include: Romeo and Juliet by Nina Rota, King Lear by Dimitri Shostakovich, Much Ado About Nothing by Patrick Doyle, and Kiss Me Kate (based on The Taming of the Shrew) by Cole Porter.
If you are unable to catch the live broadcast, the program will be archived here.
BINGO!
My enthusiasm for bingo is near-boundless, and one of the great delights of parenthood has been that my role as caller is generally unchallenged.
Heh, heh, heh.
(Oh, settle down. I let them call once in a while.)
B 2!
G 47!
I 25!
For years, we used a set with little cardboard circles that I drew from a now-tired baggie, but about four years ago, my son saw the bingo cage pictured above and decided that it would make a great Christmas present for his mom.
He was right.
_________________________
I am ruthlessly self-aware, but I have never determined precisely why I love this game. After all, it requires little real thinking and no strategy. Is that why? Because it's sort of like a high-energy round of Poohsticks (that is, you can't control the results; they just happen)?
I've never played bingo with someone who didn't smile and share my enthusiasm. Why, we brought along the cardboard-circles set to the divisional meet this summer, and at one point, no fewer than a dozen grinning swimmers of assorted ages, ten to eighteen, sat in front of me listening for the numbers on their cards.
O 68!
I 30!
N 39!
B 4!
G 56!
BINGO!
_________________________
I started the kids on bingo early; I needed someone to play with, after all. But it's also a great game for teaching numbers, and later, math facts.
And when they're in high school and college? What good is it then?
Diversion.
Laughter.
Stress-relief.
And remembering.
BINGO!
From the archives: "Come with me, if you want to live."
Did you love Christopher Moore's Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal? (Here's the RDA.) "This clever novel is surely blasphemy to some, but to others it's a coming-of-age story of the highest order." If you are one of those to whom such a novel is blasphemy, then click away right now.
You've been warned.
Final warning.
Now. The rest of you. If Lamb made you laugh until you cried -- or even made you cry until you laughed -- you might find this Terminator parody as funny as I did.
"What are you? A glutton for punishment?"
"Stop! Stop killing Judas!"
Remember when I posted this?
"[T]he quality of an education system cannot exceed the quality of its teachers." (3.06.2008)
Yeah, that ruffled a few feathers (as did my earlier post on a similar subject "The quality of teachers affects student performance more than anything else" (11.07.2007).
Well, the Finns are making news again. From "Finland's Educational Success? The Anti-Tiger Mother Approach" (Time, April 11):
But Finland's sweeping success is largely due to one big, not-so-secret weapon: its teachers. "It's the quality of the teaching that is driving Finland's results," says the OECD's Schleicher. "The U.S. has an industrial model where teachers are the means for conveying a prefabricated product. In Finland, the teachers are the standard."
That's one reason so many Finns want to become teachers, which provides a rich talent pool that Finland filters very selectively. In 2008, the latest year for which figures are available, 1,258 undergrads applied for training to become elementary-school teachers. Only 123, or 9.8%, were accepted into the five-year teaching program. That's typical. There's another thing: in Finland, every teacher is required to have a master's degree. (The Finns call this a master's in kasvatus, which is the same word they use for a mother bringing up her child.) Annual salaries range from about $40,000 to $60,000, and teachers work 190 days a year. [Boldface added.]
Digital Detox Week begins April 18.
Those of you familiar with my TV Turnoff and screen-time awareness posts (begin here, if you're not) will probably be interested in Adbusters' Digital Detox Week, which begins on Monday.
As I've said before, I certainly won't advocate a week-long screen fast, but I don't think any harm can come of suggesting that a periodic evaluation of our time management, including an earnest evaluation of the amount of time we spend in the company of screens rather than faces, is, quite simply, a good idea. If some people require an event to remind them to do this, well, fine.
Turn away. Turn off. Whatever. Just remember: Life is short.
Spend it in ways that enliven your selfhood.
"Philosophy is no friend of sleep."
From "The Philosophy of Insomnia" (The Chronicle Review, April 10):
Bruises, red eyes, and research remind me that insomnia breaks down body and soul. Noisy neighbors, crying kids, overwork, bad food, sickness, pain, allergies, and rude visitors drive sleep away. So do naked thoughts and the words they wear: insomnias of insult, dread, worry, remorse, faux pas, frustration, revenge, and raw anxiety. Philosophy, in its immense universals, omits nothing (not even nothing). Thus there have always been tired philosophers of insomnia.
Insomnia has intrigued thinkers since the ancients, an interest that continues today, especially in Europe. What light does philosophy's exploration of the dark of night shine on insomnia, particularly for that quintessential insomniac, the scholar?
Is that a poem in your pocket?
in
Poetry
Choose a favorite poem and carry it with you to share with family, friends, colleagues... even strangers on the el train.
From the Academy:
Poems have been stowed in pockets in a variety of ways, from the commonplace books of the Renaissance to the pocket-sized publications for Army soldiers in World War II.You'll find more information here.
The poems in our pockets today:
Miss M-mv(ii): "The Poet's Song" by Alfred Lord Tennyson
Miss M-mv(i): "Piano" by D.H. Lawrence
Mrs. M-mv: "The Peace of Wild Things" by Wendell Berry
"In fact everything about Grayling is extravagantly erudite."
See "AC Grayling: 'How can you be a militant atheist? It's like sleeping furiously'" (The Guardian, April 3).
Related M-mv entries
■ The recommended daily allowance (2.10.2006)
■ The recommended daily allowance (6.22.2006)
■ Liberation from such tyrannies of belief (11.23.2007)
■ "[A]part from anything else, science is the greatest achievement of human history so far." (4.21.2009)
"Bright Objects Hypnotize the Mind"
in
Poetry
Bumped up from March 29, in case you missed it.
As I've said several times before, you don't need a plan or a permission slip (or even a National Poetry Month) to enjoy poetry with your children. Simply pull down a collection of poems and read.
Play with the language.
Take turns delighting in silly poems.
Teach one another the importance of old favorites.
Recite from memory the poems you've learned.
Let favorite pieces become part of the pattern of your family's secret language, like lines from favorite books and films.
Love of language and learning does not grow from lists or lesson plans.
It blossoms in the place where children hear
To fling my arms wide,and can imagine the speaker, draw him, talk to him, and know what he'd say next.
In some place of the sun,
To whirl and to dance
Till the white day is done,
Then rest at cool evening
Beneath a tall tree
While night comes on gently,
Dark, like me --
That is my dream! *
* From the poem "Dream Variations" by Langston Hughes
A selection of M-mv poetry entries
■ "I’m not having a good light here at all." (1.22.2009)
■ Poem in Your Pocket Day (4.17.2008)
■ The recommended daily allowance (12.20.2006)
■ Russian lit (3.12.2006)
■ "Not waving but drowning" (2.19.2006)
■ "The Gift Outright" (1.20.2006)
■ Czeslaw Milosz (12.02.2005)
■ Stopping by woods on a snowy evening (11.25.2004)
You'll find other poetry posts here.
Poem in Your Pocket Day
On April 14, celebrate Poem In Your Pocket Day! Choose a favorite poem and carry it with you to share with family, friends, colleagues... even strangers on the el train.
From the Academy:
Poems have been stowed in pockets in a variety of ways, from the commonplace books of the Renaissance to the pocket-sized publications for Army soldiers in World War II.In years past, I carried a poem in my pocket most days of National Poetry Month and posted snippets of several of my selections. The Misses and I plan to do the same thing this April and heartily invite you to do the same.
Some recommendations
Don't miss A Child's Introduction to Poetry: Listen While You Learn about the Magic Words That Have Moved Mountains, Won Battles, and Made Us Laugh and Cry (first mentioned in our 8.26.2006 "On the nightstand") or Garrison Keillor's Good Poems (found in "Writing warm-up" from 3.26.2006). I find many of my poem-a-day selections in these wonderful volumes.
Celebrating children's poetry
Once again, Greg at GottaBook is hosting "Thirty Poets / Thirty Days," a month-long celebration of poetry that will feature a new previously unpublished work by a different popular poet each day. Bookmark GottaBook and visit throughout the month.
9.26 miles today...
... with the wind against us for the entire first half of our ride.
And the euphoria that informed yesterday's outing -- Look at me! Oh, look at me! I'm flying! -- all but abandoned the oldest member of our party of four. (That would be me.) Blergh. My knee hurts. Blergh. My hips feel weak. Blergh. This seat felt more comfortable yesterday.
And so it goes.
So not every day in the saddle is bliss, but it beats inactivity. And the sun -- even accompanied by the strong winds that presage this evening's storms -- is most welcome after so many, many gray days.
Read. Think. Learn. And stay active, folks.
Eleven Ten miles! Wheeeee!
Spring arrived a couple of weeks early last year, you may remember. Not so, this year. You must look, really look, to find the blooms. Still, it's warm and sunny, and it hasn't been in so long.
I had thought, Only five miles. A warm-up. Get my bike legs again. But once we were flying along the trail, it was if winter had never interrupted our biking adventure. We did eleven ten miles and hope to do another eleven ten tomorrow.
Now it's time for an early dinner and some "Battlestar Galactica" -- an altogether satisfying Saturday.
Related entry: "But if you don't have fun doing this thing, my friend, then it will be the dumbest damned thing you have ever done."
Randomness
1. Judy Paul. It's been a long time since I participated in Fine Art Friday, but if I had more coffee and another hour, I would craft an entry about her work. In a perfect world, this would already being hanging over my work table.
2. That "talent" show. She's gorgeous. She sings exceptionally well. She also has zero stage presence. (And no small amount of hubris.) Besides, it is a program designed to play to, appeal to, and, in the end, celebrate the middle. That's why "the best" (however one defines it) isn't usually the winner; the (potentially) bestselling is. In other words, popularity -- and the marketplace -- prevail.
3. Gadget bag. Speaking of the marketplace, I have been in search of the perfect gadget bag for more than a year. I may have found it.
4. Things a Brother Knows. A YA novel about one Marine's journey home. Excellent. Just excellent. More, it was the book that reminded me that I am, in fact, a reader. Thank you, Dana Reinhart.
5. "Battlestar Galactica" and "The Walking Dead." Season One. Mr. M-mv and I, who love watching series on DVD, give both an enthusiastic thumbs up.
"Contrary to the general assumption, the first days of grief are not the worst."
From Hour of Gold, Hour of Lead (1932) by Anne Morrow Lindbergh:
One must grieve, and one must go through periods of numbness that are harder to bear than grief. One must refuse the easy escapes offered by habit and human tradition. The first and most common offerings of family and friends are always distractions (“Take her out” – “Get her away” – “Change the scene” – “Bring in people to cheer her up” – “Don’t let her sit and mourn”) when it is mourning one needs.
Courage is a first step, but simply to bear the blow bravely is not enough. Stoicism is courageous, but it is only a halfway house on the long road. It is a shield, permissible for a short time only. In the end one has to discard shields and remain open and vulnerable. Otherwise, scar tissue will seal off the wound and no growth will follow.
Oh! It's back! It's back!
in
Nature
Chris’ Eastern Screech Owl Nest Box Cam
The archive of images is not current, but the links under "Live Views" are.
Encore! Encore! Encore!
in
Music
Norwegian pianist Leif Ove Andnes gave three encores after yesterday's concert; the Chopin waltz proved particularly crowd-pleasing.
We were dazzled by Andnes' expressive playing; the Misses, in particular, can't wait to describe his "drama of the hands" to their piano teacher. And although I do not possess the vocabulary of music criticism, it was clear that his was a technically superior delivery. My only complaint? I would have inverted the program order, which is, I admit, only a personal (and inexperienced) response to the music.
Our trip to the Chicago Symphony Orchestra to see Andnes rounded out a trio of recent "field trips" that included Carmen at the Lyric Opera and The Merchant of Venice with F. Murray Abraham. With both that flurry of activity and winter swim season behind us, we're looking forward to a few homebound(ish) weeks of walks, studies, reading, and, yes, piano practice.
They have been inspired.
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